Ask a Planner... "Top 5 Wedding Faux Pas"

Hello Lovelies!

We get questions all the time about what's proper and what's not when hosting a wedding and so I thought I'd recap several of them here for everyone's reading pleasure and education. Keep in mind that my opinion is based on 14 years in the wedding business specifically and is a result of seeing (and hearing) the effects of client's decisions (both good and bad) from a guest's perspective.  Hopefully this insight offers you -- the future bride -- an opportunity to understand the repercussions of certain decisions now rather than after when it's too late!  No need to say Hindsight is 20-20 or feel regret when you know ahead of time! :O) 

Top 5 Wedding Faux Pas:

1. Timing is Everything - Think about how the day will play out for both you, your wedding party, and your guests.  If you are having an evening reception, try and schedule the ceremony to take place later in the day to keep the momentum going.  There's nothing more awkward and boring than having to "waste away" precious hours in the middle of the day hanging out at a local restaurant in your finest attire while you wait for the evening festivities to commence.  Early morning ceremonies with a lengthily gap in between is also hard on you and your wedding party as the day is already long enough without drawing it out further. 

2. Ceremony Location -  It's not always possible to coordinate your ceremony location with that of your reception venue because sometimes a particular church or desired venue may quite simply not be in the same area of town as your preferred reception venue, however, keep it in mind so that in the event that you do have control over the matter you can make it that much more wonderful for your guests and the overall flow of the day.  And on that note... Hosting a ceremony in the morning/early afternoon at the same venue as the evening reception, but asking guests to leave and return later should be avoided if at all possible.

3. Cocktail Hour...ZZZ - Super extended cocktail periods are no fun for anyone!  Get the party started on a high note and keep the momentum going!  Typically an evening reception will start at 6:00pm with champagne and/or a hosted bar and maybe some light hors d'oeuvres.  An hour is typically a good length of time for guests to arrive, get their bearings, grab a drink, and chat with a few friends before heading in to dinner.  The maximum length of time should be 1.5 hours.  2 Hours is too long -- no ifs, ands, or buts.  In the event a cocktail period needs to go longer (i.e. you are on a remote island or hosting a destination wedding) arrange for some entertaining elements like lawn games, board games, live entertainment, photo booths, interactive guest book stations, etc.  It will at the very least allow guests to remain engaged.

4. Cough it up for the Cash Bar!  Weddings are no place for a cash bar.  If you were hosting the wedding in your home you would never dream of charging guests to pay for their own drinks or pay a cover charge and this is no different.  Now, I realize that some people have to invite everyone they have ever met to their wedding (and a few friends of those people just to be nice) and simply cannot pay for everyone to run a muck on your tab for 6-8 hours.  Fair enough.  So... my first suggestion is to limit the number of guests invited, or limit the bar offerings (i.e. no doubles, no shooters, no top shelf, etc.) or opt for a brunch, late night dessert, or lunch reception.  For some, cash bars are typical in their social circles and for others it's unheard of so you need to do what's right for you.  In any case there is always room for good manners so regardless of the need to incorporate a cash bar into the night's line up, do right by your guests and ensure that some sort of drinks are being hosted at various points of the night.  

Perhaps flip over to a cash bar after dinner, once you have had the opportunity to receive your guests and treat them to a drink or two and a nice glass of wine with dinner.  Also, it's never okay to allow your Wedding Party to pay for their own drinks.  Arrange drink tickets with the venue or a an all access stamp for those designated VIP individuals.  It's just the right thing to do given all the money they have invested in your day.  Typically a bridesmaid will spend anywhere from $500-$1000.00 once the dress, shoes, hair, make-up, gifts, stagette, and spa treatments are factored in!

5. Please keep your priorities straight. Forgoing proper hosting etiquette so that you can have pretty chair covers and/or charger plates is not okay.  Yes, a good looking room is very important and is one of the most fun parts of creating a wedding event to remember, BUT not at the expense of your guest's enjoyment.  Luxury decor and a designer gown will not be remembered fondly if guests had to pay for their drinks and eat rubbery chicken. It's all relative.  Treat yours well. 

Wedding Planner signing off!  Until next week… keep those questions coming in!  Submit your questions by emailing us at askaplanner@dreamgroup.ca

Cheerio,

Genève

Click here to See Inside the Book

Genève McNally, Principal Planner, DreamGroup Productions

Genève first began her wedding career in 1999 as the Catering Manager for one of Vancouver’s most sought after wedding venues, Brock House Restaurant.  In 2004 Genève and college friend Sarah Shore ambitiously started up what is now one of Vancouver's longest running and most trusted wedding planning companies, DreamGroup Productions Inc.

These days, in addition to working with her clients in a full planning capacity, Genève focuses her attention on the sales and marketing aspects of the company and is most often the friendly voice you will chat with when first inquiring with DreamGroup.  Genève is known to inspire and excite both clients and industry associates alike with her exuberant personality and joie de vivre!  Her ability to be refreshingly candid and her in depth knowledge of the wedding industry have earned her the friendly moniker “Two-Cents McNally”.  Genève also teaches the Wedding Planning classes offered through the dg Academy and is the chief correspondent behind DreamGroup's weekly Blog feature Ask a Planner.

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Ask a Planner... "Facebook Follies"

 
Hi!

This may be strange (or maybe I’m not alone), but I'm concerned about my wedding photos turning up on Facebook and Twitter and such as a result of our guests snapping shots and sharing them online.  I feel that our wedding is a very private and intimate occasion and would really prefer to keep it between us and invited guests at this time.  Is there a proper way to politely ask guests not to post our photos?  Thanks for any pointers.

A DreamGroup Bride to Be


Hi there dg Bride to Be :O)

I LOVE this question!!!  And I'm sure you are not alone in your thinking.  I'm always one for simplifying a problem with the straight up honest truth so how about posting a lovely printed note at the Guest Book Table or Greeting Area from you to your guests requesting that they do not share your photos online. Something like this might do the trick...

"Hello and welcome wonderful family and friends!  We are so excited that you are able to join us in celebration of our commitment in love!  We welcome anyone that wishes to document the occasion with photos to do so, however, we would like to keep our wedding just between us and our cherished guests and so humbly request that any photos taken today do not get shared on any social media channels without prior consent.  Thank you again for honouring us with your presence today. We so appreciate your love and support. It means the world to us.  Now let's party!  Love Bride and Groom"

Wedding Planner signing off!  Until next week… keep those questions coming in!  Submit your questions by emailing us at askaplanner@dreamgroup.ca

Cheerio,
Genève 

Click here to See Inside the Book

Genève McNally, Principal Planner, DreamGroup Productions

Genève first began her wedding career in 1999 as the Catering Manager for one of Vancouver’s most sought after wedding venues, Brock House Restaurant.  In 2004 Genève and college friend Sarah Shore ambitiously started up what is now one of Vancouver's longest running and most trusted wedding planning companies, DreamGroup Productions Inc.

These days, in addition to working with her clients in a full planning capacity, Genève focuses her attention on the sales and marketing aspects of the company and is most often the friendly voice you will chat with when first inquiring with DreamGroup.  Genève is known to inspire and excite both clients and industry associates alike with her exuberant personality and joie de vivre!  Her ability to be refreshingly candid and her in depth knowledge of the wedding industry have earned her the friendly moniker “Two-Cents McNally”.  Genève also teaches the Wedding Planning classes offered through the dg Academy and is the chief correspondent behind DreamGroup's weekly Blog feature Ask a Planner.

Click here to sign up for DreamGroup's Mailing list! 
We promise to inspire, inform and indulge!

Monday's Montage: Tips for the Father of the Bride

With Father’s Day just passed, I thought I would focus on the importance of the Father of the Bride, also known as the FOB. Even though he won’t be the one saying “I do” at the altar, the father is one of the most important and special members of the wedding party. As the FOB, you want to make sure you’re well prepared and looking extra dapper, especially since you’ll probably be the one walking your little girl down the aisle!

Check out our five helpful tips for the Father of the Bride:

1.) Put Your Best Foot Forward: Make sure you’re prepared for the father-daughter dance.  If you're unsure of how to dance, or worried about your Waltz, take some lessons or make time to practice with your princess.

2.) Raise a Glass: Prepare your speech ahead of time.  You don’t want to seem as though you’ve memorized it word for word, speak from the heart and everything will fall into place.

3.) Play Your Part: This means being there from day one, as involved or uninvolved as your daughter would like you to be. Whether it’s going to the cake tasting, helping with money planning, or being a shoulder to cry on.

4.) Don’t Go Overboard: Expect to be very popular this evening. Every guest will be excited to congratulate you and celebrate with a drink or two. Remember to keep count of how many glasses of wine you’ll be sipping on, I'm sure the last thing you want is to get too tipsy, grab the mic and possibly say too much or break into song.

5.) Have a Blast: If you have a great planner (oh hi) you shouldn't be dealing with all of the wedding madness or coordination, make sure you take a moment to breathe and take it all in and enjoy. It’s not only a huge day for the bride and groom, but an amazing celebration and milestone for the entire family!

Cherish this moment coming up, and Happy Father's Day!!

By Jayleen Deelman, Associate Planner with DreamGroup Productions

Jayleen Deelman has been with DreamGroup for 2 years and after proving herself as our Star Wedding Coordinator now takes on the role of Loving Planner. Jayleen is upbeat, good natured, and always smiling. She is attentive and with her passion for everything weddings she is key in carrying out a fluid and enjoyable wedding day experience. Clients adore her sweet disposition and her desire to make their wedding a memory they will never forget.

Click here to sign up for DreamGroup's Mailing list!

We promise to inspire, inform & indulge!

Ask a Planner... "Wedding Party Attire... Who Pays?"

Hiya DreamGroup! 

You guys are awesome for doing this! It’s so nice to have a place to ask my question!  We are debating whether or not to pay for my bridesmaid’s dresses and the guy’s suit rentals.  Is it totally taboo to ask the wedding party to pay for these themselves?  I’ve heard a lot of different opinions from the peanut gallery but figured you’d know better than anyone!  Thanks!

Jenn B.

Hi Jenn,

This is a great question and a commonly debated one at that!  My personal opinion is that being in a wedding party (especially as a bridesmaid) can be very expensive once you add up all the money that your loyal girlfriends will need to spend over the duration of your “year in the sun” – there’s engagement party gifts, bridal shower gifts (and in some cases the expense of hosting the shower itself), stagette costs, wedding day hair and make-up fees, the dress of course, and sometimes even a wedding present.  I have a good friend who has been a bridesmaid about 8 times and figures she has spent over ten thousand dollars being a dutiful "lady in waiting".  That’s a lot of money!  My thoughts are that if you are financially able to pay for the dresses and tuxedos please do so.  It’s the polite thoughtful way to go.

In the event that you simply cannot afford to cover this cost than do the next best thing and keep the cost of the dress to under $200.00 all in with alterations (or offer to pay a portion thereof to keep the price near that amount) or better yet allow your bridesmaids to choose their own off the rack dress providing some specific colour and/or style parameters which will keep the look unified and complimentary.  You might even plan a shopping day with each of your bridesmaids separately which can be fun not to mention a savvy damage control plan of action (as not everyone’s version of medium pink or soft green is the same).  Black cocktail dresses are a fabulous alternative if appropriate with your colour theme and ceremony environment.  And who doesn’t need an excuse to go out and buy a fabulous new black cocktail dress?! Apart from the dress, the same rule applies to hair and make-up, any jewelery or shoes you specifically ask your bridesmaids to purchase, etc.  Just be considerate and either cover the cost or keep costs and requested wedding party purchases to a minimum.

As you have likely noticed I did not talk much about the groomsmen, but the same rule applies… if you can afford it, cover it, if not, than keep costs as reasonable as possible without resorting to the $99 hot & stiff polyester “may burst into flames any second” suit/tuxedo.  AND… whatever you do don’t allow the groomsmen to rent their own suits/tuxedos or wear one out of their closet as this is a sure way to create a disheveled looking wedding party! Navy for example comes in many different shades and suits/tuxedos come in many different styles.  If one groomsman has a 2-button navy suit with a thinner lapel, the other a 3-button lighter Navy suit with a bit of a sheen to it, and the third a more modern body hugging almost black navy suit, you will have one messy looking line up.  A sure way to ruin your wedding photos!  Renting (regardless of who is paying) is often the most sensible way to go in order to guarantee a unified and elegant overall look.

Best of luck with your wedding Jenn! 

Wedding Planner signing off!  Until next week… keep those questions coming in!  Submit your questions by emailing us at askaplanner@dreamgroup.ca

Cheerio,

Genève 



Genève McNally, Principal Planner, DreamGroup Productions

Genève first began her wedding career in 1999 as the Catering Manager for one of Vancouver’s most sought after wedding venues, Brock House Restaurant.  In 2004 Genève and college friend Sarah Shore ambitiously started up what is now one of Vancouver's longest running and most trusted wedding planning companies, DreamGroup Productions Inc.

These days, in addition to working with her clients in a full planning capacity, Genève focuses her attention on the sales and marketing aspects of the company and is most often the friendly voice you will chat with when first inquiring with DreamGroup.  Genève is known to inspire and excite both clients and industry associates alike with her exuberant personality and joie de vivre!  Her ability to be refreshingly candid and her in depth knowledge of the wedding industry have earned her the friendly moniker “Two-Cents McNally”.  Genève also teaches the Wedding Planning classes offered through the dg Academy and is the chief correspondent behind DreamGroup's weekly Blog feature Ask a Planner.

Click here to sign up for DreamGroup's Mailing list! 
We promise to inspire, inform and indulge!