Morning Alicia,
I thought it was about time to get back "in the loop" as I feel I have been dropping the literary ball to say the least. More to the point, I have not forced myself to think of anything beyond tomorrow's grocery list and this is growing old to say the least.
Now, having said that, I feel it necessary to use this email as a confession of sorts. More importantly, and to be honest, I fear that with motherhood has come a certain level of stupidity. Throw in an upcoming wedding and well, hey, you've got a recipe for craziness, no?
At this point, I require you to close your eyes and imagine all things holy (I am having you do this as I will most certainly be struck by lightening given my unholy and somewhat debaucherous lifestyle).
Hmmm, is that a word? Debaucherous? Oh well, it is now.
Anyways, please cue angels humming in the background as well and, just for spice, let's throw in a rockin' gospel choir too. Love them gospel singers!
Now, make your way into the confessional (you'll have to do this for me as well given my judaic roots) and sit down. You are ready.
Here it goes....
After I woke this morning and went through the regular routine of what morning brings: pee, baby, dirty diaper, nurse, clean any leftover dishes from soon to be's midnight snack, make breakfast for baby etc...I realized that I was getting anxious if not eager - much like I do every morning. But why? Why was I feeling giddy when there was clearly nothing exciting going on? Then it hit me.
Oh god. I can't believe I am admitting this.
I realized, moreover I had a revelation, that I, a well educated, competent, strong woman was anxiously awaiting the start of "Rich Bride, Poor Bride." A show on the Slice network that I think relegates me to some status unbecoming of ...well...I dunno. To make matters worse, once the program actually came on, I found myself spewing a litany of expletives once I learned that it was a repeat!
By god! How dare these people play with my sanity. I have small moments in the day that remind me I am an adult and this, sadly I know, is one of them. Just knowing that I myself am in the middle of planning a wedding, MY wedding, and with the help of a planner allows me to remind myself that I too am at an age that grants me certain privileges. I am more than a diaper changing, food pureeing, un-glamourous mommy. By golly, I am an engaged woman!
Indeed, in desperate need of a makeover which can easily be seen in that I have yet to put on a bra this week - not a pretty site given that I am still breastfeeding. Moving on....
On that note, while I have surrendered to "Say Yes to the Dress" and other such wedding cult shows, I have begun to suppress the shame. I have yet to figure out whether or not this is a good thing. At first, I told myself that I was falling victim in an effort to gain inspiration for my big day but once Mischa reminded me that that excuse didn't add up (primarily due to the fact that I had in fact purchased my dress within a month of the proposal), I soon realized I had to come up with some more reasons for my decline into the abyss of bad TV.
Having said that, and after another budget meeting yesterday with my fab planner, I now have learned that I have finally been heard by the buddha after all! Sweet jesus...he WAS listening!
Turns out that all those mornings that I insisted I was "educating" myself on how to stay within the budget have finally paid off! Yeehaw! Seems we are in fact not in the poor house just yet and after having it confirmed (by that amazing planner mentioned above) that we are saving here and balancing out there, we will still be able to "create, plan and wow!"
Start the parade folks cause this, in Moldowan-ese means more moula to play with! Ya! Ya! YYYYAAAAAAA! More shoes, more accessories, more details....the possibilities are endless really! Perhaps we'll have the aisle sprinkled with gold leaf? Maybe we can budget for personal servers to fan guests and supply grapes... I mean come on. There has to be some celebration. Some sort of recognition for all the hours I have spent on the couch, bouncing my daughter while "learning" how to manage my mom's money in the way of a budget?
Giggle. Giggle.
Ok Mom, settle down. No need to worry. I am fully aware that the grapes are excessive. We can talk more though, right?
Have a fabulous day ladies and be assured and comforted knowing that I am out there, keeping the slice channel in business, staying "current." Uh oh, gotta run. Wedding SOS is about to start!
Cheers!
Suzie